The response we are seeking is “yes”. We obtain this response by asking the
client questions they can only answer “yes” to, and by making statements that the
client can only agree with. By developing this “yes” flow, this chain of “yeses”, the
client will become agreeable. This is because we can only think in affirmatives. Our
mind only understands positive concepts. When we are presented with a negative,
our mind must first translate it into a positive before we can even conceive of the
concept of the reverse. Once the information has been converted to a positive, our
mind can then determine the intention and modify the information to reflect the
actual meaning.
For example, if I were to tell you:
Don’t forget that Friday is the big meeting.
Your mind will understand this as:
Don’t forget that Friday is the big meeting.
The “don’t” will be dropped. Now that you understand what to do, (Forget
that Friday is the big meeting, a positive) your mind can, if it chooses, negate the
statement and rephrase it, perhaps as:
Remember that Friday is the big meeting.
However, your mind may stop before the negation process is complete, and
there are many psychological and external factors that can conceivably cause this
to happen. When this occurs, it will simply ignore the negative and accept the
statement as it first understood it.
This brings us to a very important point. Always, always, speak in positive
terms. You should remove words like:
Shouldn’t
Can’t
Won’t
and especially
Don’t
from your vocabulary. I call “don’t” the invisible word, because when you use it, the
listener will ignore it and only hear the rest of the statement. For example, how
many times have you told a child, “Don’t drop that” and what happens? The object
falls immediately to the floor. Right? Now, this is not because the child is being
disobedient. Quite the contrary. In fact he is doing exactly what you told to do what
it was told. This is an interesting phenomenon.
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